It's all about balance

I'm not an all-natural and organic mom. I'm not gluten-free, dye free or anything else "free." We watch TV,  and my child loves Elmo, Clifford, Daniel Tiger and Arthur - all TV characters. We don't ban technology in our family; we play with iPhone game apps and the Wii. I don't have homemade meals on the table every night for dinner, and my dishes are not always done. Some days, we wear our pajamas all day long. I'm just not one of "those" moms.

But my child knows her ABC's - not just the song; she can identify all of her letters and words that represent each letter. She can count to 20. She can sing several songs word for word. She can identify almost every "main stream" animal that comes across a page in her books, on TV or in her puzzles. She will spend hours and hours a day reading books. She loves to play with shapes and puzzles and working them all out on her own. She can operate an iPhone better than I can. She absolutely loves being outside and kicking a ball around.

Our life isn't perfect, by any means. As I type this, I can still hear A crying in her room following the most recent temper tantrum. I'm no Pioneer Woman; 90% of my meals are "semi-homemade." But I have learned that it's not what you keep your children from watching, eating or doing. It's the balance you strike in your family. You obviously can't depend on PBS to teach your children everything they need to know in pre-school, but you can watch Sesame Street once a day and count with them, recite and sing the ABC's song, and point out various colors and shapes. You can't expect your children to get all their nutrients and vitamins from processed and fast food, but a happy meal for a special "date night" or a Jr. Frosty after a rough Dr's appointment demonstrates moderation, and teaches them that these things are special treats and not everyday events.

It's all about balance. You have to teach your children that learning is both important and fun, that food is for creating memories with family as well as making "big strong muscles," and that life is more enjoyable when you're not so much worried about what others will think.

One of life's simple pleasures - finding a good spot to read a good book :)

"Don't forget me!"

I think one of the biggest struggles for me - and maybe any mom will a new second child - is making sure that my oldest is still getting some one-on-one time with mommy. I psoted before about how we let her spend a couple weekends at my parents, partially as a special treat and partially to let me settle in with baby K. And she loved that - it really was special. But I still worry about her feeling neglected here at home. Before the new baby came, everything was all about her - she was more than just "my job" - she was my life. Everything I did pretty much revolved around her. Now, things aren't like that. She's still one of the most important things in my life, and I still spend lots of time taking care of her needs and wants. But now there's a 3rd person in the mix, and I get the feeling that as much as loves on and kisses on her new baby brother, she somewhat resents not getting all the attention anymore. 

Now, don't get me wrong; there are a lot of benefits to not giving one child all of your attention. We've all heard about the cliche only child, who's spoiled and doesn't know how to share or play with others. This is not what you want for your child, and that's part of the reason we wanted another child "so soon" (according to some people) - because we wanted Aria to learn that the world does not revolve around her. And so far, she's doing very well with that fact. More to come on that in a later post.

Anyways, I was feeling guilty about not spending as much time with her. She gets sad when I'm sitting there nursing the baby and she can't climb in my lap. She doesn't like it when she has to be quiet because the baby is sleeping, and she's never had to be quiet in our house before. :) And I'm sad I can't spend as much time playing with her as I used to. So on Sunday night, I decided to make a "mommy - A-bug date" out of an ordinary grocery run. As many of my regular-type readers know, A loves her some Meijer shopping. She always has. It also helps that there's always the thrill of riding the penny horse at the end of the shopping trip. We had fun zipping around the aisles looking for a couple random items; saying "weeeee!" with a toddler in your cart is always a surefire way to get a big smile outta your little one. :) After checking out and riding Sandy, the penny horse, we stopped by Wendy's for a frosty and "booger cheese" (cheeseburger.) Because we really didn't have anywhere else to be that night, I decided to "eat in" with her and her happy meal, and we had a great time chilling while she chowed down on her burger and frosty. She and I "chatted" and she amused half the restaurant by yelling "Go Tigers! Yay!" when a guy in a Tigers' hoodie walked by. 

It really wasn't a big deal of a date; Meijer and Wendy's really aren't all that special or out of my way, but to A, it was some much-needed alone time with mommy. No baby brother to be taking up mommy's arms or time, no screaming to make her nervous, none of us telling her to be careful around baby K's bouncy seat. Just me and her.

Riding the horsey at Meijer.
She was actually a lot more excited than she looks lol.

Working on her burger and Frosty.
With those 2 favorite things around,
she didn't even touch the fries lol.

It's never easy to pull yourself away from your newborn, but if you have older kids, it's pretty important to let them know that they're still pretty important. 

My Hungry Little Monster

And no, the title doesn't refer to K, although he does eat like a horse. Actually, I'm referring to A-bug, who seems to think that the kitchen is her own personal buffet as of late. Now, she's always loved to eat - that's never been a debate. But she's never eaten this much, even during growing spurts. She had eaten 3 full meals by 3 pm today, and that's not including all the food she asked for that I wouldn't give her. I honestly think if I would let her, she'd eat her own weight in peanut butter. She's also figured out that she can now open the refrigerator, which has been an endless source of pain in my rear. Thank goodness all the drawers and shelves are out of her reach because we have a bottom-mounted freezer.

I'm wondering if this frequent snacking/food inhalation has anything to do with the fact that she sees baby K eating all the time, and she wants in on the fun. I've noticed that she is particularly susceptible to hunger right when I sit down to feed him. This is especially inconvenient since I'm nursing him... very difficult to nurse and make a peanut butter sandwich at the same time.

How do you approach a kid who wants to eat constantly? Do you feed them whenever they want, despite what they've eaten already or what time it is? How much is enough? A isn't in any danger of being obese by any stretch of the imagination, but we are in danger of going broke if she doesn't slow down on the peanut butter... 

"YAY FOOD TIME!"

Mini Play Date

Our good friend Kara nannies for this adorable little almost-2 -year-old, and today they came over for a mini play date before nap time. I always worry about A when it comes to play dates, because she's really not around other kids her age all that much, and I'm worried about how she'll share (or not share...) Today she was in a sharing mood, apparently. She did very well letting little Colin play with her toys, which is a big deal. She's pretty possessive, and tends to get confused when other kids play with her toys, especially her books or puzzles. But today, she did just fine. Until....

We had just finished snack and Colin had eaten lunch. A was running in and out of the screen door playing with Kara's dog, Lincoln. No problems, really. Then she hauls off and hits Colin on the head. Now granted, she's barely 2, and it didn't seem to hurt Colin at all; he just gave her a funny look. But she hit him. And that's just not something we do in our family. We do not physically hit, ever. So... I tell A to give Colin a hug and say "sorry." She runs the opposite direction, saying "no no no no!" Something else we don't do in our family. Finally, I'm able to corral her back into the kitchen, and she gives Colin a hug and says "sorry." You would think all would be well, but alas, in all their 2 year old clumsiness, they fell over while giving each other a hug. This produced more tears from A, and it was about this second that we decided the play date was over.

I'm sitting here typing this as A is in bed for nap time, hoping and praying that this hitting thing was a one time fluke, and - even more so - that she's not doing this when I'm not around. I'm really not sure why she hit him, and since she's 2, she may very well have not had a reason. I'm starting to see a trend in actions with no reason from her. And there's just no logic in asking a 2 year old, "why in tarnation did you do that?!"

Did you child ever go through a hitting or biting phase? Or maybe they had another inexplicable, destructive habit. Like I said, I'm hoping this is a one time thing, but what are we going to do if it isn't? Especially if there's no rhyme or reason for her behavior? If and when I figure this little conundrum out, I'll let you know. Not making any promises, though....

The Toddler Wars: Episode 3 - Life-Altering Changes and Adjusting to Them

So, I really did have every intention of blogging my way through this move. Which, thinking back, is a very funny thought. I'm not really sure where I thought I would find the time or extra energy to post everyday about our new house. Obviously, it didn't happen. We originally thought we would be moving into our new house within 2 days. Also a very funny thought. The house ended up being uninhabitable, (which will be completely outlined in a later post) and we had to move in with J's parents for a couple weeks. I also spent a long weekend up at my parent's house with Aria, and we finally were able to move in 16 days after we closed. Again, more details on the move and reno will definitely be coming. Just needed to provide some context.

I don't think it's a secret to anyone who knows anything about toddlers that they don't like change. They don't like when their routine changes, especially when it changes repeatedly over the course of a couple weeks. Poor Aria went through a toddler's worst nightmare during this move. Between the old apartment, her Wardell and Halleck grandparent's houses and the new house, she stayed in 4 different houses over 2 weeks. Talk about traumatizing. By the time we were moving into the new house, every time she got into bed, it took her a while to figure out that she was supposed to be sleeping.

She was also not at all used to the fact that not only was J gone all day, but so was I. We spent all day everyday over at the new house trying to get it to the point where we could bring Aria into it. While we were killing ourselves for her own good, she didn't understand at all why we kept leaving her behind. Some days, I would only see her around lunch time for an hour or so, and many of those days, J wouldn't see her at all. It was definitely rough, but all that hard work has really paid off.

Overall, she did really well, however. She's never been one who adjusts to schedule changes well, and we were bracing for the worst. "The worst" didn't really come until the last couple of days, when I think she just gave up on trying to figure out what was going on in her little life. We had a couple major meltdowns towards the end, but really, it could have been worse.

By now, she's pretty much completely adjusted to the "new house," as she still calls it. She is still incredibly clingy when new people come over or when we leave her with a Sunday School worker or babysitter. She gets very nervous if we walk out of the room without letting her know, and it's even worse if we "hand her off" to someone and walk away. Panic will most certainly ensue. In a certain twisted way, it makes me feel kinda loved, but of course it's a stage that we're hoping she outgrows soon. I'm sure her Sunday School teachers feel the same way...

The Toddler Wars: Episode 2 - Respectful Rebellion

I've always known that how you talk to your kids when they're learning to speak is how they will communicate with you. Thus, whenever we talked to Aria, we would use "yes, ma'am," "no,ma'am," "please," and "thank you." We're also really conscious about saying "you're welcome" and "excuse me" very clearly to Aria, so that she will learn how and when to use these as well. She's finally reached the age where this is really starting to pay off, and it's been really adorable to hear her say "tank ooh" and "geesey" (excuse me) in their proper contexts.

However, it wasn't until this past week where the "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" really entered her vocabulary. And it entered with a bang. As I have blogged before, Aria is at that stage where she now understands the concept of disobeying. When she was younger, the thought never really occurred to her to disobey. This was  a lovely time, and she was a perfect child. Ok, not really, but it was nice. Now, she's two. And she thinks it's cute to disobey. I have no clue where she got that idea from.

Aria's epic "sad face"

 Anyways... all that to say, last week, I asked her to stop jumping on the couch. A rather reasonable request, I thought. Apparently, not to Aria. She was enjoying herself far too much to be deterred from her jumping. I asked again more forcefully; "Aria, sit on your bottom right now." The response I got? "NO MA'AM!"

It took all my self-control to not burst out laughing at this rather respectful rebellion. I mean, wasn't this what I had wanted by talking to her that way since birth? It just didn't go down quite like I had imagined. (She still got a time out, despite the cuteness, by the way.) 

Although I was glad that all that effort had finally (sort of) paid off, it reminded me once again how closely my little booger is listening to the words I use, and how I talk to her. "Oh by careful, little mouth what you say" because your toddler will shortly be repeating it, and it may not always be quite so cute.

Operation Potty Training: Day 4

It's still the middle of Day 4, but I probably won't have time to post much later tonight. Today has been a confusing day as far as the potty training goes. My mom is staying for a few days, and she woke Aria up this morning. However, even though her diaper wasn't "loaded," she still did not go on her seat when she woke up. Or at all in the hours after waking up. In fact, as of almost 2:00 pm, she has not peed. At all. We ran out to Meijer to pick up groceries for her party on Saturday, but when we got home, her pull-up was still bone dry. She just went down for a nap, which means she got a diaper on, and I have a feeling she will relax enough during her nap and go then. At least, I hope so. Is there such a thing as a toddler who can go that long without peeing?

If you are truly riveted with the ending to this puzzling dilemma, stay tuned for the epic conclusion, which will be posted sometime tomorrow. Maybe. I have jury duty. Which will be another post. Until then... I'm signing off. 

Operation Potty Training: Day 3

Honestly, Day 3 was probably our worst day so far. We had the most accidents, and I wasn't feeling well, so everything was that much more exhausting. However, before we get to day 3, let me tell you about the epic ending to Day 2.

As I mentioned in the blog post for that day, I was very worried about whatever was going to happen when Aria finally had to go *ahem* #2. This time, my fears were justified. Aria had been sitting on the couch reading books, and I was texting someone. When I looked up, she was no longer on the couch, and during this stage of potty training, I really don't want her leaving my sight for very long. I saw her over near the front hallway, and just as I stood up saying "Aria bug, can you come here, please?" she comes running to me saying, "Mommy! Icky chocolate!" For future reference, that is never a phrase you want to hear coming from your toddler's mouth. I'm not exactly sure the exact order of events, but there was a perfect little log sitting on my side table, and Aria's hands were covered in "icky chocolate." After putting her in the bathtub and sanitizing the side table, I realized it really could have been a lot worse. But that was still nasty.

Like I said, throughout the course of Day3, Aria had the most accidents so far. 3 or 4 I believe. But she still went in her potty 5 times, so all was not entirely lost.

And the journey continues....

Operation Potty Training: Day 2

Well, I must say, all my fears about Aria peeing everywhere were completely unfounded. Yesterday, she only had one tiny accident in her room while she was playing, and successfully peed on her potty seat 7 times. So far today, she had one even smaller accident on the bathroom floor and has been successful 3 times on her seat. Not bad odds. She really loves the "treat" she gets after every little success and loves using toilet paper almost as much as the chocolate, which I find strange, but hey - she's a 2-year old.

Some things I have not done that are apparently popular are 1) forcing her to drink a lot of fluids and 2) even attempting a clean and dry pull-up during nap and night times. The reason I decided not to force Aria to drink more was simply her personality; she's the type that if you ask her repeatedly to do something (ie - drink more than she wants) she will rebel against everything you ask, and she's doing so well with potty training, I didn't want to ruin that. I also haven't tried a dry nap or night time sleep simply because I don't think she's ready for that yet. She is still getting used to the idea of going on her potty seat and walking around without pants on, and I'm not sure that she's not holding in a lot for when she gets a pull-up on. I don't know this for sure, but it wouldn't surprise me.

Something else that we haven't accomplished yet is a poop on her potty seat yet. I'm not sure when that will come, and I'm kind of dreading any unsuccessful attempt on that front. This has always been the aspect I've been most nervous about, because until just a few months ago, she only went #2 while she was asleep, and there's just no way to train a child with that habit. She's since changed her schedule, but it always made me wonder if she was fighting it for some reason. I guess the answers to those fears are yet to be discovered.

All in all, I'm very proud of her, especially the 2 times where she has explicitly told me that she needed to go. I have worried about her being too young, but it seems we started at just the right time. I'm still wondering how long the actually "training" period should be before we go back to putting pants on her. (The typing of this blog post was briefly interrupted by another accident that occurred because she was too involved in Curious George. Distraction is another obstacle that we'll apparently have to deal with soon.) 

How long of a training period did you use with your kids before they went from pull-ups to "big kid pants?" I s a week unrealistic, or is that a normal time frame? I don't want to rush her, especially since she's still rather young. Any advice on things I'm missing?

Aria sitting on her "designated area" on the couch,
reading bookies. She's bottomless, but I figured this
was a good enough picture ;)

Passing down the memories: simple summers

Like I mentioned in my previous post about our vacation to West Virginia, there are some memories that I have as a child that I'm getting to pass down to Aria now, and that makes me so happy. Times have changed so much even in the past 20 years (does that make me sound old?) and I still want to be able to teach my kids to enjoy the simpler things in life like an uncomplicated trip to the mountains, watching her daddy play softball and the current favorite, splashing in a cool pool on a ridiculously hot summer day.

Finding an empty school playground to
play on during cooler evenings is a great
way to make fun (and cheap!) memories.

Another one of my favorite parts of summer growing up was enjoying all the fresh fruits that come along with the warmer weather, specifically berry picking. Now, I know that Aria's probably still a year or two too young to go to a berry patch to pick strawberries or blueberries. She would eat so many that we'd probably get kicked out, not that I didn't come close as a kid, but ya' know. But Aria does love fruit probably more than any other food group (although as the potty training goes on, chocolate chips are becoming a close second.) She goes nuts over blueberries, strawberries and watermelon and has no problem just chewing on a lemon slice - rind and all, if we're not watching carefully. In fact, if I'm not watching her every move some days, I'll find her in the kitchen with the fridge door open, sitting in the middle of the floor eating out of the blueberry container. As cute as it is - and it really is cute - and as healthy of a snack it is, I'm reluctant to let this habit continue, partially because of the blue poop I later have to deal with and partially because of the future ramifications of allowing such refrigerator raiding now.

I can't wait until we have our own backyard and can grow raspberries and strawberries, as well as other veggies she's starting to enjoy - especially if dipping them in ranch dressing is allowed. There's nothing more rewarding than cooking up or snacking on some fruits and vegetables that you helped grow; it was always one of the best parts of the end of summer when I was a kid.

Summer traditions don't have to be complex or complicated. Ours are all relatively simple, but memorable ideas, many taken from our own childhoods. What traditions are you starting with your young ones? Were they part of your childhood as well, or are you starting with fresh memories?

Operation Potty Training: Day 1

Well, I didn't post about this earlier on the blog, but we have tried potty training once before. Incredibly unsuccessfully. Whenever I would try to sit Aria on her potty seat, she would have a panic attack. The thing that confused me was that she loved sitting on her special froggy potty seat, as long as her pants were on. But as soon as we took her pants and diaper off, she would freak out sitting her bare rear end on the seat. So, all that to say, it was remarkably unsuccessful.

So last week, I sat down and read between 5 and 43 different blogs from moms who were or had recently trained their young toddlers successfully. I read various different methods and creative ideas on how to motivate younger children to leave the diapers behind and enter a brand new world of "big girl pants." The method I decided to start with seemed the most scary and - quite honestly - impractical of all, but everyone who had tried it said it worked surprisingly well. So I decided to give it a shot. Starting today, Aria is not wearing any pants. At all. Her little bare bottom is running around my house completely uncovered. It's scary. I fear for my rug, honestly, and I have blankets and towels down on all the furniture. But here's my thought process - in a few short weeks, this will no longer be my carpet. In a few short weeks, I will be moving into a house with brand new carpet. So I weighed the options - have her potty train on crappy carpet that will not be mine - or anyone else's - very shortly? Or try when I have brand new carpet in my brand new house that I paid very good money for? When I thought about it like that, starting before the move seemed the best idea.

First thing this morning when Aria woke up, I pulled off her diaper and took her right to her potty seat in the bathroom. And she peed in the potty!! I was elated! We cheered, sang and danced! And then Aria got 2 chocolate chips, which then caused her to be elated. We cheered and hugged some more. About every 1/2 hour, I ask her if she needs to potty. She will run to the bathroom every time, but only sits down in she has to go. In fact, 45 minutes after her first successful potty, she stood up from playing, turned to me and said "mommy! potty!" And sure enough, she ran to the potty and went! I was shocked, and, once again, elated. And the elation continued after Aria got her chocolate chips.

Some things that help her - if I'm also sitting on the toilet, she feels better. I could be sitting on the lid, but as long as I'm sitting next to her, she relaxes. Also, asking her every half hour reminds her, even if she doesn't have to go. And again, chocolate chips. Seriously. It's an awesome motivation. I'm only giving her 2, but that's enough to excite her beyond all reason. Another motivation - toilet paper. Nope, I don't get it at all, but getting to use toilet paper is another reward that excites Aria beyond reason.

So, it's only 11:39, Day 1 of Operation: Potty Training, but Aria has successfully peed on the potty 3 times now. I'm thrilled about it, and Aria is eagerly awaiting the next 2 chocolate chips. More updates will come as the week goes on. Successes, failures and all.

One of those days...

You ever have those days where no matter what you do, your kid or kids just won't be happy? And it also happens to be on the same day that everyone around you took their stupid pills? And the day that you swore you would scrub down the kitchen/vacuum the living room/dust all the furniture, but you can't get a blasted thing done because of aforementioned crabby kids and stupid people? That's my day today. But then this picture of this little guy made me smile. And now, I will go have another cup of (decaf) coffee, and all will be well. For 5 minutes.

How do you deal with "those Mondays" in your home?

Learning to sing, singing to learn

It's no secret, especially to those in the music education world, that using music to teach concepts is one of the best memory aids for young kids. This is why we teach our kids the ABC's to a tune, and why kids can memorize lyrics to any given song much faster than adults. This week, we have had an excellent demonstration of how to teach activities and concepts with a simple tune.

Exhibit A: whenever we put lotion on Aria, we sing the "Dove song" (for lack of a better title) which is really just "Dry Bones" with doo's and dah's. Aria has always thought it's hilarious and giggles her way through it, but just recently she started singing with us. After a while, we noticed she would ask for "doo-be-dah" whenever we changed her diaper. We didn't really put the two together until one day, when I was putting lotion on my legs after a shower. Aria walked up to me, started rubbing my legs and saying in a sing-song voice, "doo-be-dah, doo-be-dah." Now, it's one of her favorite things to get her nightly lotion on while we sing to her, and it's one of my favorite things to hear her say.

This is just one of many potential everyday examples about how putting words (unfortunately, "doo-be-dah" is not an actual word) or concepts into music can imprint ideas into even a young child's head. This is why it's so important that you know what your kids are listening to, not just on the radio in the car, but even on TV. A commercial ditty can stay with a kid for YEARS. I still remember ditties for random toys or theme songs from shows I only saw a few times as a child to this day.

Adults have a habit of mindlessly singing through songs they've heard a thousand times, but to a kid, that may be the time he learns the words and tries to figure out the concepts behind those new words. (This is another excellent, important reason for churches to take a good look at the theology behind their favorite hymns, but that's another rant for another day.) With a young child, the words aren't the only things that will get stuck in their heads. The words they learn and philosophies they are subconsciously being taught frequently start out with the music that is in your home. What are you listening to?

(Stock Photo)

Chatty Actions

We've all heard the saying, "Your walk talks, and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks." (Quite the tongue twister, and it wasn't all that easy to type.) It's a relatively simple concept, but for some people, it's a difficult one to put into practice. Basically, you can say whatever you want, but until you act on your supposed belief system, no one is going to believe you. "If you say you are a Christian, but don't have the love of God in your life, you're a liar." Sound familiar?

There is nothing more frustrating and discouraging to me than people who claim to be Christians, and even Christian leaders, and yet demonstrate none of what Christ and His true followers clearly defined as Christian character. I think the Bible is pretty clear when Christ says, "by their fruit you will know them," and then later in the New Testament goes on to list what the fruits of the Spirit are -  Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness. Let me be very clear - if someone says they are a Christian, but they don't love people, aren't happy, aren't gentle, are impatient and are constantly arguing, the Bible is calling their bluff. By your fruits, you will be known. How are you known?

Groanings and Grace

Sometimes, life is easy. Now, we never think about it like that. We rarely, if ever, stop to think, "wow, my life is really a breeze right now." But let's face it, there are all (often short) periods in our life when nothing terribly awful is going on. When things are just..."normal." We take these times for granted pretty much always. I can't ever remember a point in my life where I prayed to God and thanked Him for my incredibly normal life. No, I normally pray and thank Him when something extraordinary happens, or I pray and beg Him for healing, help, and relief. There's not usually an in between kind of prayer.

Well, after this past month or two, I will most certainly find myself thanking God for the normal times when my life gets back there. Not that life has been completely awful, but to call it stressful would be an understatement. I feel as thought every aspect of my life has some form of stress or pain in it right now, although when I talk to friends and start reading some of my favorites blogs, I know I'm not the only one out there and I'm most certainly not in the worst shape. I have friends going through horrible things right now, and that may be part of my "life pain" right now. I am terribly empathetic - to a fault. I hurt for everyone. I hate watching a  friend go through something difficult, struggle with health failure or be torn apart by something. It just kills me. And right now, there are so many loved ones going through so much pain.

It's times like this when I think of those passages in the New Testament that talk about "Creation groaning, waiting for the return of Christ" or "the Spirit interceding for us with groanings that cannot be uttered." Sometimes, there is just nothing to say. Sometimes, all that comes out is "God, it hurts. Help." Or sometimes, it's not even a hidden pain, it's just that there appears to be no end or resolution to an extremely stressful situation. You have no idea what to even ask God for; you just want the situation to end.

This point is where I'm beyond grateful for our good and loving God. God is not up in Heaven rejoicing when we are in pain. He does not enjoy when His children suffer - I think Job is pretty clear in that, while God allows certain things to happen to us, it is not for His enjoyment, per say. I know there are Christians out there that feel when they suffer, they are making God happy, and I just don't see that in Scripture. Do you enjoy when your kids are in pain? When something at school is making them miserable? When they're stressed out beyond belief? No! No humane parent on the planet enjoys watching their children in pain. But sometimes, we have to allow it for the purpose of growth and learning.

Some lucky children out there learn vicariously through others - they watch older siblings misbehave and be punished and realize, "hmmm, that's not something I want to go through." My husband is one of those people for the most part. He learns vicariously. I, on the other hand, am not at all like that. I have to experience the pain to really understand it, and that has gotten me in lots of trouble throughout the past. But the point is, I learned. I was taught those lessons, and let me tell you - I will never forget them. I grew as a person and became better for those lessons, however horrible the learning process was. This is how our Christian walk operates, and somewhat to an even greater extent. We can never fully understand the love of God until we go through human rejection. We can never fully experience the mercy of God unless we've been forgiven. There are so many characteristics of who God is that become so much more real after you've lived through pain, and that's the whole point of life - to discover who God is and to praise and glorify Him because of it.

So, while part of my is currently longing for a return to "normal" times in my life, the other part of me is whole-heartedly searching for God to show me what part of Him is to be magnified through my life situations. What am I not understanding completely about Him that He wants me to learn? Looking at life like this is the only way to stay sane sometimes.... and moments of sanity are few and far between.

How have horrible or difficult life circumstances taught you more about your God? Is there something about Him that you never would have understood without life being so hard? Please tell me I'm not the only one out there :)

Making New Friends

One of the things I struggle with raising an only child is whether or not she's being "socialized" enough. I fear she's not interacting with other kids on a frequent enough basis, and usually when she is with other kids, I can't watch her to see how she's acting around them (church nursery etc.) I've wanted to do more playdates with younger kids and their moms, (because let's face it, we all need some socialization, too!) but until recently, I didn't really have any friends with kids.

The past couple months, I have made several new friends, and the majority of them have kids or will have them shortly! This is a wonderful new development for not only me as a mom, but for Aria as well. She finally has people to play with! I mentioned last week how we have started on Wednesdays going to a local gymnastics studio for play time and lunch, and it's been really nice the couple times we've gone. While Aria still prefers playing and running around by herself, she is definitely showing improvement in the tolerance-of-other-kids-in-her-personal-space issue she's had since birth. In fact, she's even given one little boy (her #1 admirer, at that) a hug twice now.

We're also still working on the "share" issue. It was one of the first words we taught her, and she does really well with "sharing daddy's phone" with him or "sharing the piece of trash on the ground" with the trash can etc. We had just never been able to put it into practice with other kids and toys. But today, she shared. A toy. With another child. I was so proud. :) I will say, she was not thrilled to give up one of her bright yellow balls to this new kid, but she did. And I was beaming with pride.

Hopefully, Aria won't be an only child forever. Unless your child is a twin, they've also been an only child at one time. How did you teach them how to share with others? Did you do organized play dates as well? Do they have cousins close to their age to play with (a luxury Aria will never have, I'm afraid)? I would love to hear your ideas and solutions!

Did you know?

Here are a few money saving, innovative tips and ideas that I've found while browsing the web. Enjoy!

1. Stuffing a dryer sheet in your back pocket will repel mosquitoes.
2. You can buy beadboard wallpaper.

3. You can freeze cupcake batter for future use.

4. You can paint upholstery.

5. You can run a paper bag through your printer.

6. You can also print directly onto fabric.

7. Dry erase markers work on most desk tops.

8. You can mail anything that weighs less than 13oz without a box. 

9. If you break your blender jar (which I have,) you can replace it with a mason jar.
10. Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.

11. Store opened chucks of cheese in aluminum foil - it won't mold!

12. Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps are firmer and better for cooking.

13. If you buy cake frosting from the store, whip it up in your stand mixer - it will double in size. More to go around and less sugar and calories!

14. To keep squirrels away from plants, sprinkle cayenne pepper on them.

15. Clip a safety pin at the bottom of your skirt/slip/pants to prevent static cling.

16. Cornmeal kills ants.
17. Place panty hose at the end of your vacuum cleaner to find something small that you dropped.

18. Rubbing a walnut over scratches on furniture will make them disappear. 

19. Baby powder will make getting the sand off your feet much easier.

20. Add a velcro strip to your kid's walls to store soft toys and puppets.

21. Put a magnetic strip in your vanity door to store bobby pins and safety pins.

22. Put your shoes in a shower cap when packing to keep the dirt from your shoes from getting all over your clothes.

23. Install a tension rod in your closet to hang cleaner bottles.

24. Freeze aloe vera in ice cube trays for the summer burns.

Good Reminders

Sometimes we all need a little reminder about why we do what we do. After all, being a mother isn't the most lauded job out there. Here's a couple great parenting quotes out there that will hopefully make you smile and/or give you some inspiration today. We can't have all good days, afterall.

“We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching.”
- Roy L. Smith

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” 
- Robert Fulghum

“To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today”
- Anonymous

“The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.” 
- O. A. Battista

“Kids spell love T-I-M-E.” 

- John Crudele

“If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.” 
- Haim Ginott

“Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation.” 
- C. Everett Koop

“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back.”
- William D. Tammeus

Let's Talk About Music...and Sports...and Balance.

Maybe, she'll be a pianist..

As a musician, I have big dreams and probably slightly larger than life aspirations for when and what instruments we're going to start lessons for with Aria. For us, piano lessons are a given, and while I'm a singer and find value in teaching someone to sing properly, I also realize from personal experience that there's little value in teaching a 4 year old proper singing technique. Should I have her take violin and force myself to endure the squeaky shrieks of the first several years? Or maybe the clarinet and... well, no. That's just not going to happen. I took flute for many years and still have mine, so that's a possibility, but will her tiny little hands be able to reach? How long will it take her to make a noise, and by that time will she be too discouraged to keep playing? I could have Josh teach her the guitar, but most serious piano teachers aren't in favor of their students developing the callouses that go along with guitar. What other options do we have that won't cost an arm and a leg?

And these are just a few of the thoughts constantly running through my head.

...or maybe a chef...

We also want her to be balanced, so we both feel we should at least give her a shot at playing sports, although if she's anything like me, she'll do much better managing a team than actually playing on it. (I do hope for her that's not the case, but I did enjoy travelling with the teams, keeping the score books and learning more about sports. I can't play worth beans, but I can have intelligent conversations with my hubby and dad about football, basketball and baseball.) I'm kinda hoping she'll take after her dad in that department. For her sake.


There's something to be said for giving your child as many opportunities as you possibly can to find things they're interested in. Everyone wants a well-balanced child. However, usually with all the juggling going on in today's families, the home life tends to lose out. Between running to ballet, soccer practice, piano recitals and youth group scavenger hunts, today's kids know more about everything else in this world than their own family. My parents did an excellent job with this, I feel. We all took music lessons, sang in choir, played sports, (I met the bare minimum, for reasons mentioned above, but I did it!) worked hard on schoolwork, and always had dinner as a family. Note: not all of these activities happened in the same day. I don't know how my mom did it, but it happened.

...or maybe even a ballerina!

In the midst of all the craziness that is childhood nowadays (especially now as we're in the middle of the busiest time of year) it's hard - but important - to remember that kids still need a place to relax, a home filled with love and stability, and time to just be a kid. They need time to bond with family, and be able to talk to them. In the middle of all the carpooling and recital-sitting-through, don't forget to talk to your kids. There's more to who they are as a person than just the activities they're involved in - get to know that amazing kid of yours! There's more to a "well-balanced kid" than sports and music. Teach them what it means to be a family, too.

Books, book and more books!

As I have mentioned many times on the blog, Aria LOVES to read. Her books are her favorite toys (save my spice rack, currently) and story time is usually one of the only times she's still and quiet at the same time. As her collection of books grows, I would really like to get books that grow up with her, say like Dr. Seuss etc. Books that she'll enjoy reading for years, not just till she realizes there's no story involved (enter farm animals and counting books.) Some other series I've really enjoyed for her are Harold and the Purple Crayon (shoutout to good friend, Janie, here!) and Sandra Boyton books. What are some good books/series that you and your kids have enjoyed reading? Any and all recommendations appreciated :)