Toddler Intelligence...

Me: "Aria, can you say 'trick or treat!' "
Aria: "RAWR!"
Me: "No.... trick or treat!"
Aria: "BOO!"
Me: "Kinda... Trick or treat" (said very slowly)
Aria: "Cookie?"

... I think she knows more than she's letting on....

More than the Mommy in the Mirror

Recently, I've been going through what I know a lot of moms (esp. SAHMs) can empathize with; the quest to find a self-identity in the midst of being a mom. When you first become a mom, nothing else in the whole world matters, and you're OK with that. You're just reveling in the glory of your new baby and your new role in life. But as time goes by, if you're like most SAHMs, you discover that your "new role in life" has completely taken over your life, and that there is no other aspect to who you are. You're just "mom."

This "identity crisis" really hit me hard in the past few months. As much as I love being Aria's mommy, and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, I was starting to realize that there was little else that defined my existence. Even my relationship with my hubby had been infringed upon, because no matter how you look at it, you're not just a couple anymore: you're parents. It's so easy to let who you are become completely enveloped in your little one. And that's not all bad; it means you love your child deeply, and later on in life they will really (hopefully) appreciate it. But you still need to find you, just like I needed to find me.

When you describe yourself, what words do you use? I was noticing this the other day - all over the internet, wherever you go, you're usually asked to make a profile of some kind. Here on Blogger, on Facebook, Twitter, any other blogs of forums you belong to - they all ask you to make a simple or detailed profile of yourself. That little "about me" tab gets me every time. Who am I? The first words that always go in that box for me is "mom and wife." But what else? What else describes me?


This has triggered a lot of thought for me, so I went to some of my older profiles from extinct websites and social networks (Xenga, anyone?), and looked to see what words I had used to describe myself as in my past. "Musician, singer" were a couple defining words; I had described myself as "artsy, social, outgoing" and that I enjoyed concerts, sports, and good food. I wanted to be a professional musician or music critic. My goodness, how time as changed things. Now in reality, not all those things are far off from who I am now; I still enjoy all of those things, I still consider myself a musician and somewhat outgoing, but when I stopped to think about it, I couldn't really zero in on any aspect of my existing life that someone could look at and say, "Aha! That woman is a singer!" ... I just took for granted that that was still a part of me (and for the record, nothing could change that, it will always be a part of me, I just needed to reintegrate it into my life.)

The twinge of "regret" for us as moms comes in when we realize there is no "self-identity" anymore... who you were has changed. Not just your life - you. But you still need to find things that define you. You can't just morph into someone else and leave your interests and hobbies permanently behind. What will happen when your kids leave? Will you just cease to exist?

I decided to find things that I enjoyed doing that could be done at home with Aria. I started making decorations for my home on my own. I watch a lot of episodes of "Design on a Dime" during Aria's nap time, and got some great ideas for how I could do the same thing to our little apartment. You've seen some of my project here on the blog. Even just moving around furniture, rearranging the bookcases, and re-organizing things can give you a sense of accomplishment and "nesting." Don't like the beat-up, outdated finish on your old dresser? Repaint it! Look up a cool way to refinish the surface on it, and you have a new piece! There are some great ways to make cheap, personal artwork for your walls that will help you satiate the inner artist during your kids' nap time! Just find something you enjoy doing, and take a few minutes 3-4 days out of your week and indulge; whether that's catching up on the latest bestseller while soaking in a tub, throwing around a basketball in the drive way or getting all crafty like me. Even blogging can help, especially if  "writer" is a word you use to describe yourself. If you don't find something to express who you are, you'll lose who you are.

My challenge to you today is to look in the mirror and find another word to describe you other than "mommy" and comment below to tell me who or what that is and how you're going to "rediscover" that aspect of yourself. The "new you" doesn't have to be boring :)

Pretty Pretty Princess

A while ago, I mentioned that Aria's mothering instincts had started to kick in, and we could see that when she rocks, pats and kisses her "babies." She'll lay them in her cradle and sing to them and it's really quite adorable. Now, we're starting to see some of her "inner girliness" come out. While she still actually chews on her teething rings occasionally, now they are mostly being used as bracelets and tiaras - at least, I think that's what she's doing when she puts them on her head. :) She'll walk around the house holding one of the bigger ones on her head with her hand (which makes for some very off-balanced walking) and holding her other arm up in the air to keep her "bracelets" on. It's really too cute. She will also grab her comb and start attempting to comb her own hair, which usually just ends up with her hitting herself in the head. Now I just can't wait to get a tu-tu on her!

Aria with her "princess hat" (for lack of a better term) and
carrying around one of her beanie cats :)

Shake, Tumble and Roll: The Techniques of the Tripping Toddler

Aria moments away from employing the "Thud" technique.

As Aria learns to move around more quickly, she doesn't have a lot of patience for slowing down. This causes for a lot of odd dances to stay upright and, occasionally, falling flat on her face or tucus. Now, for those parents who have not yet been through the "learning to walk" stage, there are several different falling techniques your young toddler will employ. I will now explain them in depth, so as to aid in the understanding of curious parents.

The first is what Josh and I simply refer to as "Thud" because there's no glamorous ending; it's just a simple "THUD" on the ground flat on their rear, as though they suddenly meant to be sitting down. After a look of mild confusion to indicate that they did not indeed intend to be sitting at that present moment, the toddler can return to a standing and/or walking position quite easily.

The next would be the "Wobble, Wobble, One Touch." This takes place when the toddler starts to lose his or her balance, but instead of falling backwards, they begin to fall forward. This must be avoided at all cost, so as to save the parents expensive medical or future dental bills. Thus, after wobbling around attempting to maintain their balance, the toddler will then lean forward, touching one hand to the ground to stable his or herself. At this point, once they have reached a safe position, they can either lower themselves to the ground safely, or push themselves back up again.

The third is what I tend to call the "Much Too Downward Dog." This occurs when, unlike the last technique, there is no time to wobble around and steady oneself; instead, the toddler just throws both arms down in yet another attempt to avoid hitting the ground face first. Unfortunately, since there was no time to regain balance, the toddler will then just fall over sideways, while still maintaining a nearly perfect "Downward Dog" stance. This technique is best utilized when in a large open area, so as to not hit one's head during the Downward Dog Descent. Even if this technique is pulled off flawlessly with no injury, there still tends to be a tad residual trauma left over, that may cause for a wimper or a full-blown hysteria fit, depending on the child and their state of mind.

I hope these three basic techniques, their explanations and their expected emotional outcomes will be of use to you and your child as you go through the stage of learning to quickly maneuver oneself about.

Small Business Saturday!

Last year, American Express started what is now known as "Small Business Saturday," to take place the day after Black Friday. It's to promote the growth of local small businesses and direct sales reps the same way our Black Friday shopping helps put those big chain stores back in the black. I know I just posted about this, but I want to remind everyone about the Small Business Christmas Challenge I posed the other day... If you Christmas shop from your favorite direct sales ladies, it will help them create Christmas for their families as well.

Direct sales reps and consultants make up the majority of what are considered "small businesses" in America, and they directly impact the income of the people you're buying from. Over  15 million people in the US are involved in DS, so it shouldn't be too hard for you to find a friend whose trying to provide for her family through her DS company. (http://www.directselling411.com/about-direct-selling/)

Do something good with your Christmas shopping this year, and support your local family owned restaurant, buddy from college who sells candles, or creative mom friend from your play group that makes adorable hats and outfits for babies. The options are endless.

Room Rearrange

Just last week, Aria moved from her baby dresser to her "big girl dresser." The only difference (besides size) is the baby dresser has a built in changing table on top, and Aria has out grown it. It is a wonderful dresser that was given to us by friends who are now missionaries in Africa, and I will most certainly pull it out again when we have another baby, but for right now, Aria needed more space.


However, due to the size difference in the two dressers, this switch also required for us to rearrange her room. The old room arrangement really was for the infant stage; the furniture groupings were designed to make feed, changing and bedding easier and didn't give her much room to play. The new layout is much more conductive to playing and running around. It has grown into a toddler's room.

I can't believe how fast all this is happening. I can still remember like yesterday the feeling of bringing her home from the hospital, trying desperately to rock her to sleep after hours of crying, (thank you, acid reflux for those memories) and cheering over her first intentional smile. I can't believe we're in the toddler stage now.

She's really growing into a little girl now, which is what inspired the room revamp. She needed more space to play, and the living room just could not contain all her toys any more. Now, she has three distinct play areas in her room for books and reading, (her favorite) dollies and noisemakers (there are very few toys in our house that don't fall into one of these three categories!) By the end of the day, all 3 kinds of toys are inevitably in one heaping pile in the middle of the room, but the fact that they all have a place to go makes me feel more organized, if nothing else.

Next thing I know, we'll be moving her out of her crib, and into her "big girl bed." but until then, I will enjoy tucking her into bed in her baby crib... enjoying each day as it comes.

Small Business Christmas Challenge

As we're gearing up to tackle the holidays head-on, we're usually saving money ahead of time, shopping early or spreading it out, using layaway or any other method we can to ease the emptiness of our wallets that buying gifts for everyone entails. We're scraping together money and.... blowing it at big department stores.

 Now, don't get me wrong: I love my trips to Meijer with Aria, as my regular readers know, but when you think about it, wouldn't it be awesome to be supporting other people's Christmas shoping by simply doing our own Christmas shopping? Instead of running to Walmart, Meijer or Kmart, check out that family owned bookstore or toy store. Give a gift certificate to a local non-chain restaurant (they usually have better food anyways!) Or (my personal favorite!) find direct sales reps. in your area that can help you out. Between Avon, Mary Kay, Dove Chocolate, Thirty-one, Scentsy and Uppercase Living you can get tons of your gifts crossed off your list, and help a work-at-home-mom provide for her family's Christmas (and yes, most of these companies now offer some great gifts for men and kids as well!) If you click on the names of the direct sales companies I gave above, they'll take you to the sites of ladies I like to work with and my own site.

Now, you may feel as though I'm tooting my own horn here, but what I'm really saying is support any small business out there. You don't have to buy from my particular small business (although I appreciate it!) - just find one that you'd like to support. Ladies that run their business remember their good customers, and trust me, the service you get from them will be far better than what you get at a chain department store, because they need your business and will work hard to keep it!

My challenge to you is to find at least one gift on your Christmas list from a small business, whether it's a family owned shop downtown or a friend from college who sells from her home. Then share here! Tell me what you bought and about your experience - will you do it again? and why?

Remember, small business ownership is one of the things that makes the economy of our country work. So put it to work for you! :)

Reminiscing

Fall, for me, is a time to think back to the past few months and reminisce on things past. I'm not sure if it's the cooler temperatures, the beautiful, yet temporary, leaves or the impulse to be outside as much as possible before another Michigan winter hits that makes me so reflective, but it pushes me to capture as many of these moments as possible, before I forget them, and they're gone forever (probably the same impulse that had me pick up the blogging again, as a matter of fact.)

Aria is at the most amazing age right now - finding something interesting in every little - usually insignificant - thing. The scrap of paper on the ground, the cardboard box my order of Thirty-one came in yesterday, the piece of tape she can't shake off her finger; all these things just entertain her to no end. She's also enjoying the freedom to toddle around now on her own, and is at the point in walking where she doesn't fall nearly as much. She loves on her "babies" and rocks them, gives them kisses and pats them before laying them down for a nap. She has some sort of imaginary world with her finger puppets, and is always having the most in depth conversation with them. But of all these absolutely adorable new developments, my favorite is when she calls for me or Josh ("Ma!" or "Da!") and gives us a big hug and kiss. So precious.

These are the days that make those first few very long months all worth it. My baby girl is growing up.

What do you do to hang on to the memories and experiences of your children growing up? Do you blog as well? Or scrapbook? Maybe you journal? Please share your ideas!

Birthday Pictures

Looking back, I hadn't realized that there were no pictures of Aria's birthday on the blog, so, although it's almost 3 months late, here they are!

Fall Pictures

Here in Michigan, fall is not something you take for granted. Once those leaves turn and start to fall, you better get to the nearest apple orchard, take your pictures, and find a hay maze, cuz' winter's a' comin'! Unfortunately, on the last nice weekend of the year, both Josh and I were laid up - me recovering from surgery and Josh with a horrible strain of the flu. It was bad. But that's another story.

On the bright side, since I'm a SAHM, I can get out with Aria during the week and take pictures. Aria discovered a love of apples, and was definitely a booger when I was trying to get pictures of her face, but I did get a couple good ones in the end. That weekend, we were able to get out to Yates Cider Mill and grab some pictures before we blew away as frozen icicles. Aria enjoyed some apple cider and donuts, and we caught up with some old friends. It was a nice way to end out the last of the good weather.

Oh, be careful little mouth what you say.

At 15 months now (wow, how time flies!) Aria is at the age where she LOVES to imitate sounds she hears us make. She says things like "Cookie, mama, da, grrr, baby, buhbye and hi!" and other noises which sound like words, but I can't confirm for sure if she knows exactly what she's saying (a prime example of this is when Josh and my in-laws swear she said "go away!" to Josh after he'd been tickling her.)

She frequently imitates our vocal inflections, which can be hilarious. Her favorite comes up when we're reading her "barnyard friends" book, and we got to the rooster, who says "Cock-a-Doodle-Doo!" She just smile and tries so hard to say it.

She also is imitating our actions now; when she gets ahold of my phone, she holds it between her shoulder and ear, like I do when my hands are busy, and chats away. She'll also hold the remote up and push buttons, as if she's changing the channel (which she actually does on occasion.) She loves banging on the keyboard - both the computer and piano. She also has been trying desperately hard to drink out of a "big people" cup, but hasn't figured out yet that she has to tip it up to actually get something in her mouth.

Josh and I are now really having to take into consideration what we say now, because what comes out of our mouths will shortly be coming out of hers...

For the Love of Reading

I have to say, one of the things that delights my heart the most with Aria is her love of reading. I pray all the time that it will continue, and that it's not just the page-turning she's into (even though it sometimes feels like that's the whole pull for her.) At night, Josh usually reads some Dr. Seuss with her, I read her favorite books to her throughout the day, and she reads to her babies and us. She gets incredibly animated at times, and other times she simply flips through the pages. My favorite is when she comes across those books with a mirror at the end; she leans over and kisses herself and/or waves. It's very cute, although I don't think I'm going to foster the type of behavior that causes her to kiss herself in the mirror. All in good time, though.

Crazy Hair

As Aria's hair grows, the guesses will continue as to whose hair type she has... right here, I believe she's channeling a little Robert Pattinson in Twilight.

Summer Family Fun

This summer, we got to take full advantage of hanging out with our baby. Since she was more mobile than last year (for rather obvious reasons) we were able to go on picnics and to playgrounds to have a good time as a family. While in June Aria wasn't digging the swings quite so much, by August, she didn't ever want to leave them. She's still not sold on slides yet, especially not by herself. 

Swimming with Uncle Zak

Getting dried off with Mimi

Drinking out of daddy's water thermos

Mackinaw Family Vacation

Over Labor Day weekend, we headed up to Mackinaw City and Island - Josh and Aria's first time being up there. It was also our first family vacation with just the 3 of us. Even though it was only 2 days long, we made a lot of memories and had a great time. We toured the island on Saturday, after spending Friday in the city checking out the local food and shopping. It was nice being away from everything and just enjoying each other's company.

Playing Catch-up

Oh dearest Aria....

It's been months since I've blogged. It started out as just one week, but then so many things happened I just got overwhelmed and kept putting it off and putting it off until... well, now it's been months. Since the last Time I blogged, you have learned to walk, you have gotten 7 new teeth, you have started talking and laughing, you respond to things we tell you to say or do and you eat just about everything we do now. So much time has passed, and there's so much to say. Where do I begin?

You're now almost 15 months old. I can't believe how fast this time has gone with you. You have developed the funniest of personalities and demonstrate that adorable sense of humor on an hourly basis. You giggle now when tickled (something I NEVER thought you'd do) and have that sassy "you can't make me!" look when we tell you to stop doing something. You can be quite the little booger!

Since you're down to only 1 (much too short!) nap a day, we spend a LOT of time together. You still love your books - something I hope you carry with you through life. You love to read to yourself, out loud to us and for us to read to you. You just LOVE turning pages! You also love your dollies. You've really developed that "nurturing instinct" already by "patting, kissing and rocking your babies" on command. You line them all up and kiss their heads. I just love it.

You also just love playing the piano. I recently moved around all the furniture, which enabled us to pull daddy's nice electric piano out of the closet and into the living room. You love sitting up on the bench all by yourself and banging away! You've also discovered how to start up rhythms and music on your own, and watching you "dance, dance!" on the bench while playing is just something I adore. I'm so glad to have caught it on camera a couple times!

I will try to be a better "journaler" for you on this blog, because there's so much I want to make sure I never forget about these months as they go by. They go by so fast.