From some recent reading I've been doing, I have come to discover that Aria's dislike for "aloneness" is not a unique quirk. Apparently most children go through a stage where they don't like to be completely alone. With Aria, however, I found it to be unusual; she loves playing with and by herself, she can read to herself for30-45 minutes at a time without ever needing me. She thoroughly enjoys make-believe time with her toys, and doesn't even really like it when we try to join her.
But as soon as I walk out of the room.... oh boy. It's like I'm there for emotional support or something.She just falls apart as soon as I cross the threshold from her room into the hallway. We have just recently gotten to the point where she will wander into her room on her own without us bring there, but even then, she yells out "MA? ma?!" every few minutes to make sure I'm still in hearing distance.
Like I said, I've been told that this is very normal with children her age, but how did you deal with your kids during this stage, especially when you had to get stuff done? Does keeping them with you 24/7 foster neediness and dependence, or will it not affect them? I've also heard that this emotional response to bring alone also has to do with their developing understanding of object permanence, so how can I help with this discovery? So far, we've just stuck pretty close to her, but we have tried to incorporate at least one session per day of "alone time" in her room. After a few minutes, she seems to forget why she's crying, and goes back to playing... any other parents out there with this experience? I'd love to hear your input!
But as soon as I walk out of the room.... oh boy. It's like I'm there for emotional support or something.She just falls apart as soon as I cross the threshold from her room into the hallway. We have just recently gotten to the point where she will wander into her room on her own without us bring there, but even then, she yells out "MA? ma?!" every few minutes to make sure I'm still in hearing distance.
Like I said, I've been told that this is very normal with children her age, but how did you deal with your kids during this stage, especially when you had to get stuff done? Does keeping them with you 24/7 foster neediness and dependence, or will it not affect them? I've also heard that this emotional response to bring alone also has to do with their developing understanding of object permanence, so how can I help with this discovery? So far, we've just stuck pretty close to her, but we have tried to incorporate at least one session per day of "alone time" in her room. After a few minutes, she seems to forget why she's crying, and goes back to playing... any other parents out there with this experience? I'd love to hear your input!
While I am not a mom I have about 10 years of experience caring for children and an associates degree in child development. I believe you cannot spoil a child this young with too much togetherness. She still needs you as a safe base and will "check in" with you often.. and that need should gradually decrease in time. But if you need a bit of alone time from her that is perfectly fine, and she won't be damaged by that either. Talk to her, reassure her, and she will learn that you will always come back/be near. -Laura Dalton (your relative in Alaska)
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