This will be a rather short post mostly because this is a topic that we haven't figured out quite yet. In fact, after talking to several moms with children of various ages, it appears to be a topic that most parents don't have figured out, so I don't feel too bad.
As you all may know, Aria turns 2 this week. This week it will have been two years since she came into our world's and took over our hearts. Remarkable how time flies. Anyways, the "terrible two's" didn't get that name for no reason. No sirree Bob. A few weeks ago, we entered the terrible two's full force. The "no, mama!"s and buckets of tears when we tell her not to try to climb out of her crib were a totally new experience for us, and I was not prepared. Despite Aria's high energy and occasional high maintenance tendencies, she's actually been a very good toddler as far as obedience goes. So what happened?!
Needless to say, I've found this newly discovered boldness of Aria's to be incredibly frustrating, and it's hard for me to hide that frustration when she's having "one of those days." To be honest, the rather obvious truth that the word "discipline" comes from the same root as the word "disciple" didn't occur to me until church one Sunday when my pastor pointed it out. It was like a light bulb moment for me. I mean, let's face it - when you're 3, 7 and 13, you don't think of your parent's discipline as an attempt to turn you into a good person. You think of it as more of an attempt of your parents to make you hate them. At least, that's kinda what I thought.
So... I'm not naive enough to think that Aria will immediately acknowledge in all her toddler wisdom that the way she is being disciplined for that temper tantrum in the middle of Meijer is me trying to mold her into a better human. In fact, I'm pretty sure she will not like whatever form of discipline we use for several more years. Ok, never. The shift in thinking about discipline as a discipleship project occurs more in the hearts and minds of the parents, rather than the kid. It's the attitude we have. It's the attitude towards our children that we display to them when they're being put in time out, or getting that favorite toy taken away (especially if it's not theirs and they just snagged it off the shelf in aforementioned Meijer.)
All that to say, during this first episode of The Toddler Wars, I'm working very hard to make sure I'm coming at discipline more from, no - entirely from - the attitude of discipling my daughter into the image of who God wants her to be, instead of frustration out of the fact that she's not being the little person that I want her to be.
Anyways, that's all I have to say on the subject for now. I don't have advice on how to do that or how well it's going so far, since I just started this mental shift and haven't always done it completely successfully. But I'm trying.
If any of you have discovered that discipleship is your gift with your children, please PLEASE share how you do this. Any and all advice and prayers would most certainly be appreciated. :)
As you all may know, Aria turns 2 this week. This week it will have been two years since she came into our world's and took over our hearts. Remarkable how time flies. Anyways, the "terrible two's" didn't get that name for no reason. No sirree Bob. A few weeks ago, we entered the terrible two's full force. The "no, mama!"s and buckets of tears when we tell her not to try to climb out of her crib were a totally new experience for us, and I was not prepared. Despite Aria's high energy and occasional high maintenance tendencies, she's actually been a very good toddler as far as obedience goes. So what happened?!
Needless to say, I've found this newly discovered boldness of Aria's to be incredibly frustrating, and it's hard for me to hide that frustration when she's having "one of those days." To be honest, the rather obvious truth that the word "discipline" comes from the same root as the word "disciple" didn't occur to me until church one Sunday when my pastor pointed it out. It was like a light bulb moment for me. I mean, let's face it - when you're 3, 7 and 13, you don't think of your parent's discipline as an attempt to turn you into a good person. You think of it as more of an attempt of your parents to make you hate them. At least, that's kinda what I thought.
So... I'm not naive enough to think that Aria will immediately acknowledge in all her toddler wisdom that the way she is being disciplined for that temper tantrum in the middle of Meijer is me trying to mold her into a better human. In fact, I'm pretty sure she will not like whatever form of discipline we use for several more years. Ok, never. The shift in thinking about discipline as a discipleship project occurs more in the hearts and minds of the parents, rather than the kid. It's the attitude we have. It's the attitude towards our children that we display to them when they're being put in time out, or getting that favorite toy taken away (especially if it's not theirs and they just snagged it off the shelf in aforementioned Meijer.)
All that to say, during this first episode of The Toddler Wars, I'm working very hard to make sure I'm coming at discipline more from, no - entirely from - the attitude of discipling my daughter into the image of who God wants her to be, instead of frustration out of the fact that she's not being the little person that I want her to be.
Anyways, that's all I have to say on the subject for now. I don't have advice on how to do that or how well it's going so far, since I just started this mental shift and haven't always done it completely successfully. But I'm trying.
If any of you have discovered that discipleship is your gift with your children, please PLEASE share how you do this. Any and all advice and prayers would most certainly be appreciated. :)
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| Hint: this is NOT her happy face. |
all I can say is that we are in the same boat and I am having the same thoughts... so you are not alone momma!! I do believe that the more we go to God's word and get filled up with His Spirit, than we will respond to each situation the way He leads us to. I also know, that when I am filled to the measure with His Spirit I respond in an ENTIRELY different way. Cool, calm, patient, ready to teach and guide rather than demanding a certain behavior just because I don't want to deal with him, and my voice stays stern but low and peaceful. I do NOT believe in yelling.. it does nothing but brew anger in everyone. Praying for you!! Let the Holy Spirit be your guide.
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